10 Worst Jerseys (Big 4 North American Leauges)

I have Always been a bit of a jersey fanatic, owning many versions from my favorite teams and being miffed with jersey envy of rival teams that have fantastic ones I can not in good consensus buy, as well picking up cool "neutral" team kits from time to time.

This is not an ode to my fave jerseys of all time but a look at what I think are the worst jerseys in my opinion.

The Criteria:

  • This list only consists of the Big 3, plus the NHL(I kid, I kid) so NBA, NFL, as well as the MLB
  • No "third jerseys" or special edition ones like the god awful NFL Thursday Night Colour Rush jerseys. It has to be the teams main uni's for at least one season.
  • Ugliness may be the foremost reason why I think a particular jersey is trash but its not the only reason I feel ones teams outfit is hate-able. It could also be boring, or in some cases such a contrast to a teams former classic jersey that all it does is make fans yearn for their better  ones.
  • Obviously as is the case for all my lists and reviews I am by no means an expert in the subjest and it's mearly ones opinion.....hope you enjoy, cheers.

 

 Away Jersey, home ones equally boring.

Away Jersey, home ones equally boring.

10. Cleveland Cavaliers 1994-1997

How can a team have A jersey that is boring and ugly at the same time? Well if you look at it that way then the Cav's pulled off somewhat of an accomplishment. It screams 90s but at the same time not good enough to make the cut for throw back love, like a Charlotte Hornets or Shaq and Penny era Magic Jersey. The orange on black is okay but is ruined by the splash of Blue wrapped around the shorts and top. The Basketball going into the net with comic book action lines on the shorts looks uninspired.

Cleveland Managed to get knocked out the first round the first two seasons and failed to make the playoffs the last year before they slightly altered their jerseys. Using the same colour scheme they definitly improved with less ugly if not still boring Jerseys in 1999.

9. California Golden Seals 1974-1976

 A solid Roller Derby outfit, profesional hockey....not so much.

A solid Roller Derby outfit, profesional hockey....not so much.

A disaster of a sports franchise that ended its foray in the NHL with its worst hockey sweater in its short sad run as a franchise. The Bay area hockey experiment came into the league in the 1967 expansion via the WHL, To be fair most of their jerseys were not good and screamed look at me! The ones prior to their final look had the same design but with the Oakland Athletics colour scheme. On a side note: I much preferred those (1970-74) jerseys as I am a sucker for teams in other Leagues adopting the same colurs. It's in a way some sort of show of unity i.e Pittsburgh teams having the black and yellow look across the board, but I digress. The Teal gold and white was their final Jersey inception and it is just such an eye soar.

It's not all bad news for Bay area hockey as The San Jose Sharks and California teams for that matter do quite well as far as NHL standards go these days, with solid rabid fan bases and varying financial and professional success.

8. Toronto Blue Jays 2004-2011

 One of the few bright spots being a fan in this era, your still sorely missed Doc.

One of the few bright spots being a fan in this era, your still sorely missed Doc.

Full Disclaimer, if you have not figured out from the way I spell colour with the u I'm Canadian and also a huge Jays fan. I hated these jerseys when they came out and I hate them just as much looking back. Yes the yolked out cartoon bird with the big letter T symbol kind of sucks (from 2000 til 04) but it still incorporated bits of those classic 1977 to 1997 looks with a bit of the more Canadian love 97 ones. These ones though are just basic and boring. With big bold lettering and an angry sharp edged blue jay head that made many fans want to yawn at this rebranding attempt. I can tell the idea was to start a fresh chapter on the team (in the hopes of selling more merchandise of course) but it just came off as desperate and dare I say lacked soul, turning its back on a great tradition of lovely baseball uniforms.

Thankfully in 2012 The Jays came out of the basement of irrelevance and went back to their old ways with fantastic jerseys hearken back to their winning ways of the early to mid 90s, although the last two seasons have not been great. Well at least we can wear our Jays merch and look good as fans.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 2014-present

 I want you to help me design a jersey; a jersey for all the Homer Simpsons out there. And I want to pay you two-hundred thousand dollars a year!  -Herb Simpson

I want you to help me design a jersey; a jersey for all the Homer Simpsons out there. And I want to pay you two-hundred thousand dollars a year!  -Herb Simpson

Brown is rarely a good look but Cleveland Browns fans have enough to deal with, so although tempted I put the current Buc's jersey on the list. Brown with a bit of orange on the shoulder pads with red as the base and "alarm clock" style numbers? Was this a Homer Simpson designs a car for his long lost brother at Powel motors scenario? So many questions with little to no answers. I was never a big fan of Tampas football jerseys, although the dog days of terrible football;orange and white combos of the 70s until 1997, had a charm to them. However their latest look is a bit of a colour clash dumpster fire. The less said the better, moving on.

6. Detroit Pistons 1996-2001

 The Ref should never be dressed better than the pros on the court.....Cool FILA's though.

The Ref should never be dressed better than the pros on the court.....Cool FILA's though.

If you look at the Jersey history of the Pistons from 1957 until now, you will see a pattern; red, white and blue with different fonts (sometimes it bared piston's sometimes Detroit) but ultimately their look had been a persistent classic staple. Accept for those five years starting in 1996. If The Pistons look was a persons life then 1996 till 2001 is when things got out of control and said person's life was ripe with bad decisions and possibly an addiction to cocaine. A stallion fit for the four horsemen of apocalypse on top of chromed out Pistons lettering with literal car pistons with even more flames shooting out of them, all on a blinding teal back drop! Thankfully the mid life crisis post-divorce, driving a Porsche while doing lines of an escorts breasts ended before it was too late and the Detroit basketball franchise went back to their old familiar ways. Young healthy Grant Hill was fun though.

5. Oakland Athletics 1969-1971

 Almost as terrible as my grammar and sentence structure - Im working on it alright!

Almost as terrible as my grammar and sentence structure - Im working on it alright!

Yikes that's a lot of yellow! for the most part I like or even love the A's apparel (especially their hats) but when I saw them wear this number as a throwback I had to do a double take. I'm not a fan of the cut off sleeve with shirt under it in baseball as a rule, add the blinding yellow with the forest green and its just way too much. The fact that they also wore matching yellow pants is somewhat alarming, but given the fact their owner was zany Charles O'Finley (he also owned the Oakland Golden Seals) who had a flare for the dramatic and that it was a huge culture shift in North America, these off the wall Unis make sense. Doesn't make them less hideous to look at though.

4. Houston Rockets 1995-2003

 These jersey's came from the future to warn us all how bleak it will be.

These jersey's came from the future to warn us all how bleak it will be.

Pin stripes can work, look no further than the New York Yankees classic look. However stripes that blend 2 colours and are squiggly with a huge ass logo of a basketball being circled by a cartoon rocket ship? I know mid 90s jerseys could go off the rails, but there is just way too much going on here. Add to it the Terminator 2 font for the players number on the front and I shake my head that they rolled with these for eight years, eight! If you told me that this jersey was the winner of a grade school design contest I would be impressed and would think how nice it was of the organization to have the players wear them in a game, that child must be so proud. But it was adults who got paid to design these and they were worn for much more than a game, hundreds upon hundreds of games.

 A great way to support your Vancouver hockey team while also being safe ridding your bike at night.

A great way to support your Vancouver hockey team while also being safe ridding your bike at night.

3. Vancouver Canucks 1978-1985

The Canucks have a rich history of trash hockey sweaters. I don't even know where to begin. I mean just look at it;  a huge red and black v on the grossest in your face dehydrated piss yellow(red and yellow v on black for away) with a black border and another red v on the sleeve. It looks like a health and safety approved reflective vest. The only good thing I can say is the logo on the sleeve is nice and the jerseys that they finally adapted in 1989 incorporated the logo much better. That is until they went with the less ugly but equally dumb killer whale jerseys in 1997. The current numbers they have on now have been praised but I think that's more a kin to being blinded by horrible jerseys for the better part of thirty years.

2. Every Cleveland Browns Jersey 

 Make it Stop!

Make it Stop!

I told a fib when ripping on Tampa's recent jersey. I just had to put the Browns on this list. I do like the fact that they stay traditional and don't make drastic changes but I mean c'mon does it have to be so boring. They don't really even have a logo and the fucking name The Browns, its a last dudes name! its either white with a some orange stripes on the sleeve, orange with some white stripes, or ugly brown with orange, yawn. I respect the fans loyalty to this ongoing car crash of a sports franchise, so I feel bad for being yet another dip shit blogger making fun of them but can they just stop making it so easy? At least the King came back home and brought Cleveland a title after being down 3-1 to the juggernaut Warriors. You can live of that one for decades and you most certainly deserve that..So much pain so much suffering.

New York Islanders 1995-1998

 I forgot about the lighthouse patch on the shoulder lols

I forgot about the lighthouse patch on the shoulder lols

The Captain High Liner Jersey was always going to be number one for me. I would love to be a fly on the wall when this monstrosity was pitched and approved. Instead of the classic circular crest with the boroughs incorporated we are going to go with a fisherman in a rain jacket hat and all, holding a hockey stick in front of a hockey net. Go on.... and forget the blue with a bit of orange and white, that's so New York Knicks. We decided to go with blue a bit of orange and splah in sea-foam green with a wavey boarder design. But that's not all! The names and numbers will also be wave like for the full nautical experience. It's just the worst. So on the nose with a dumb theme that some agency ran with when they broke down the word Islander on a white board in a conference room. These jersey's would fit right in with the XFL or whatever the fuck that trampoline basketball quasi sport was on spike TV back in the day, but an actual long standing league, with a team that won four straight Stanley cups in the early 80's? At least we all had a good laugh for three seasons.

keifer saunders